Do You Know Why They Call It A Royale With Cheese?
>> So once again, our city league basketball team played for the championship last night, the 4th season in a row we played the same team for the title, going 0-3 against them the previous title games. Our rivals are just dirty old men too, the kind of guys who jab you in the stomach and step on your feet when you take jump shots; and set screens by throwing a forearm in your chest, then get pissed and bitch at the refs when you shove them back to fight through the pick.
If that isn't enough, they scout us during the season, then bring in ringers for the title game. I've compared our rivalry to the Pistons/Bulls of the late 80's/early 90's, when the Pistons invented the Jordan Rules and played dirty basketball to continually beat down the Bulls, until finally the Bulls broke through in '91 to beat them and go on to win the title. To say that our rivalry is heated would be a huge understatement. Anyway, I thought last night was finally gonna be our night, and this would be me after the game.....

But instead, down three with eight seconds left, I get fouled on a three-pointer, make the first two, back-rim the third and we lose. So instead of tears of celebration, it was more like this....

And so we wait until next season. Again. FML.
>> Bergman, Jonye, Jud and I did a British Open draft yesterday, five golfers each, lowest cumulative score per team wins. I got stuck with the 4th pick, but came away with a team I'm pretty happy with (besides losing out on Ian Poulter- I wanted him worse than Wendy, that obese girl with the good personality, wanted Zack when they were auctioning off the boys of Bayside for the big dance): Sergio Garcia, Lee Westwood, Hunter Mahan, Paul Casey, and Justin Rose.
The only reason I mention this is to say that it was a lot of fun to draft, and to let everyone know we're gonna do it again for the PGA Championship in a month. We just kinda threw this together last minute, but we're gonna plan it out next time and hope to have a larger pool of contestants. Get your 20 bucks ready now.
>> I received this from Schatz this morning, and she immediately takes the clubhouse lead for texty of the year:
ps... i'm like the creepy guy your parents warned you about on the internet right now... i'm hungover, reek of cigarettes and am typing online without any pants on
Happy Wednesday.

10 Comments:
Adam Morrison is an NBA champion. Soon enough we will be city league champions.
and Bergman was in town?
No, we did the draft via email.
That is probable the greatest text message ever.
Nice Saved by the Bell reference. Now, put some pants on and go to work :)
~ Tara
that should go to textsfromlastnight.com....hilarious website, check it out if you haven't
- random Ted
Yeah, I've been there, it is a pretty funny website, although like half of them have gotta be made up. Still funny though.
I submitted this one yesterday, it hasn't shown up yet, either they stay a couple days behind, or it didn't make the cut. Bullshit.
How are you going to handle missed cuts in your British Open bet? What if one of your 5 misses the cut are you out? Or do you only use top 3 scores or something like that per team?
Yes I am an auditor. That is the reason I am audting a casual bet between friends that I am not even involved in.
-Jacobi
That's funny that you mention the missed cut issue, because we discussed (read: argued) that point for about an hour, bouncing around a bunch of different solutions.
We settled on if your guy makes the cut, even if he shits the bed during the weekend, his score gets frozen at the cut line, so he can do no worse than someone who missed the cut.
To clarify, if you make it to the weekend and suck you can not do worse than the cut. So if it is +3, all golfers that play on the weekend can't do worse than +3. It is a good rule, in my opinion.
Easy E
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